How (and why) to Say No

No is a complete sentence. How and why to say it

Since it’s January, it’s time to determine priorities and decide what is going to be important to us this upcoming year. It may be to slow down and try to be present during your family time. Maybe it’s to take some time out for yourself

I get it. I’m a people pleaser so I can 100% understand the desire to try to be everything to everyone. However, as I have learned, you can do anything, but not everything. 

You have to learn how to say no to those things you don’t have time to do (or that you just don’t want to do!). Here are some ways I’ve learned help lessen that “No” blow:

  • I’ll have to check my schedule.
  • I want to help, but I’m pretty full this month. Can you reach out again soon?
  • I promised my husband that I would not tackle any more projects right now. 
  • No, but I can ______________ (give an option that you are willing to do).
  • No, but ______________ may be interested in helping.
  • No.

That last one may be startling to say the first few times, but you are allowed to just say no (or “no, but thank you for thinking of me” if you’re very polite!). “No” is a complete sentence. You do not have to explain yourself. 

It’s so important to guard your time. How often have you felt stuck doing stuff you don’t want to do only because you thought it would seem bad if you said no? Don’t let that feeling rule your calendar and your life. Don’t say yes to things you don’t want to do. 

Making yourself and your family a priority is the most important thing you can do. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Hopefully, 2019 will be the year that your cup overflows!

New Year, New Priorities

With the dawn of a new year, it’s time to look back at the last one. Maybe you want to make some changes and make resolutions to clean out your closetslow down or get your paperwork in order.

Resolutions start with determining your priorities and choosing what is going to be important to you this year. If it’s important to you, you choose to make time for it.

Take a look at your calendar for the next month and decide what is worth your time. Make a list and write down everything on your calendar for the next 30 days. Next to each entry, number the importance of doing it with 5 being ABSOLUTE MUST (non-refundable airline tickets) and 1 being a “I sort of said I may be interested” (PTA cookie exchange). 

Next, put a plus sign next to the things you are really looking forward to (girls only brunch) and a minus next to the blah stuff (oil change).

Obviously, the 5+ are the things that are important to you that you love, but check if there are any 1- or 2- on your list. Maybe you can outsource some of those tasks. There are people (and apps!) that can help with cleaning, cooking, preparing taxes, laundry, organizing, grocery shopping. Many of them are much more affordable than you think. 

Also, give some thought to your household chores. Is there anything you hate doing? Maybe your spouse doesn’t hate it and you can trade it for a different job. Hate folding clothes, but don’t mind doing dishes? Suggest a trade, even if just for a week or a month. You may be surprised at how much the annoying little tasks you dislike can add up in a short time.

The new year is a great time to really think about what is important to you and how to determine what you are going to say yes to!